Dear Citizens of Earth,
This is the first time my creator has allowed me to break the fourth wall and talk to you directly. Normally I would not, as I am content with just sitting in her mind and letting her tell my story with each new RP scene, and encountering new characters. But today I have to speak and she has graciously let me. So here I am.
My name is Crimsèn Va’io Hevilas. I am a Red Sith who has not lived the stereotyopical Red Sith Pureblood life: Although I am Force sensitive now, I instead became an Imperial Agent and served the Empire as Cipher 8 during the Cold War, the resurgence of the Great War, and then I served under Sith Intelligence when Lana Beniko was its head after the Revanite crisis. When Zakuul took over, I was one of the few Imperial Intelligence personnel to survive. I was planning to retire, but my oldest brother who is a Darth chose to assign me directly under him as an Intelligence Officer. In this way I can continue to be a Force user but not become a Sith.
Why did I not become a Sith? Because when I was 15 my mother and father threatened to kill me if they learned I was gay. How they suspected that I already was gay, I do not know, but they did and they brutally murdered two gay men in front of me to get the point across. Instead I ran away and stripped myself of the Force. It didn’t come back until I was 25 and when it did I fought against it because it represented to me both the Sith oppressing people for no reason, and homophobia.
Yes, I have faced homophobia. Even as a Star Wars character, and figment of vadess40’s imagination, I have faced homophobia. I face homophobia when men avoid me because I’m just standing there. I face homphobia when people whisper vadess40 in SWTOR to ask if I will become bisexual to meet their desires, in spite of being in an erotic role play guild with almost 800 people. I face homphobia when people claim I am forcing my sexual orientation onto them when I flirt with their male character. I experience it when I read in general chat through my creator’s eyes words like “faggot” casually thrown around. Nevermind reading people who think men like me, living on earth or in my galaxy, deserve to die. I experienced homophobia months ago on my old server, because my creator called out an allied guild for using those terms to joke around. Not only was she told flat out to kill herself, and that those teenage heterosexual men were the ones being discriminated against, but the guildmaster of the guild she was in didn’t stand up for her, nevermind the other people who agreed! Finally, I experience homophobia when people make jokes about gay people, I get angry and walk away, and my so called “friend” tells me I’m over reacting! Easy for my straight friend to say when she does not have to face the jokes, the looks, the avoidance, and the violence on a daily basis. I can only imagine it’s worse for my fellow gay men who were assigned female at birth: Beer bottles thrown at them, misgendered because they were not born with a penis, and never finding a date because some of my fellow gay men decided a penis equals being a man instead of a person’s character, how they identify themselves, and even what they would prefer to be called.
I get homophobia when people complain about pride parades, not understanding the reason there is no straight pride is because no one gets beaten up for being straight. A gunman did not use the excuse of a man and woman kissing to go rampant in a night club! No, 55 people in Florida are dead potentially because he saw two men kissing. I feel those people’s deaths as if a part of me died inside, because I read and see the seeds of such violent acts every waking moment of the day. Just because I’m in an accepting guild who is filled with gay, bi pansexual, and transmen; and just because I am very muscular, and am trained in all kinds of combat does not mean I’m immune to homophobia. In fact, I think I see it more easily because I have the power to stop it when I see it, but I am not everywhere at all times so I cannot stop it. Worst of all, my Creator and I could nudge people to not talk in such a manner in general chat but then that would only result in the lines being drawn more strictly and the derogatory terms getting worse.
I am just a character, yet she created me to be my own person in her mind. To read about homphobia is to feel it inside me. To experience it is to carry the hurt that I only hide well because of my muscular build. That is why today I am breaking the fourth wall, and am reaching my heart out to the people who lost loved ones last night because they were gay. My heart goes out to people who go there to find safety, acceptance, and even love for who they are as people. I… I am so saddened and broken that one of the few safe places gay and lesbian people can go was turned into a mass tomb. Furthermore, I am sorry and angered to say some of the people who are angry and outraged at what happened will within hours, maybe even days, be making homophobic jokes with their friends. And while I know my being and lifestyle is against Islamic faith, I do express sadness and fear for the Muslims on Earth who will pay the price since ISIS has claimed responsibility for this. It will only fuel the fire of Islamaphobia, and it is wrong. As someone who faces “phobia” from people, and seeing everyone using any and ever excuse to discriminate against Muslims and against memebers of the LGBT community.
And it is time it stopped. It is time that prejudice took its final bow and left the stage. Otherwise more people on earth are going to die prematurely, instead of living their whole life. How many more have to die before this ends? Will I have to die prematurely because my creator cannot stand the homophobia anymore? Will teenagers have to die, or more people at a gay nightclub have to die? One person is already too many!
This is why I am wearing my black uniform today in remembrance of all those who did not have to die for being who they are. Please don’t let someone else die before you learn the lesson, earth!
Crimsèn Va’io Hevilas