All that once was, seems to be slipping away. I see the darker things, the spiralling things as part of my illness. They’re not me, and I no longer wish to entertain them any longer.
A way from me dark thoughts!
Today in a couple of hours, I will be enjoying cultural Caribbean and African food in celebration of black history month.
African, French, Jewish, Irish, and maybe German exist within me.
All are me, yet none can solely define me, so I try to embrace all of them. After years of not being sure where I fit, I see I wasn’t meant to “fit” in anything other than be Canadian, and most importantly to be me.
Attention to all aspects of myself takes work, and is a challenge,yet a part of me they all are. To neglect one is to sell myself short. I can’t sell myself short. Allow myself to settle for less, I will not. There are so many ways I already adhere to them all:
The African in me from my father’s side has curly, thick hair. My skin is tanned. I love the spicy food, and add it to foods when I can. I love the warmth of the sun, bask in summer’s humidity, and feel the warmth of warm water. Yet, the Caucasian in me leaves my hair fine and soft. I love a good stew, and enjoy dancing in a ceilidh. I yearn for the Island’s Northumberland Strait, and appreciate winter when it comes.
I have some Jewish ancestors from my mother’s side… Are they why I love reading the Torah, and the prophets? Are they why I wish Protestant churches would sing more of the Psalms? Yet the Christian, and perhaps God’s Spirit, within me breathes Jesus into the verses and sees King Jesus in the Psalms about the Messiah.
I think the French me cries for the acceptance of all sexuality between consensual adults and all gender identities, even though I’m asexual and aromantic. All are me and all are a apart of me.
Today, I will be celebrating the African in me that eventually came to the Caribbean. As I understand it, my ancestors were free black people and not slaves. At least, that’s what my dad told us. I’ll enjoy delicious food and learn about the people in Canada of African descent who shaped Canadian history, a brave move on their part given they came from warm climate to a not so warm climate. They’re part of my people, and I’m proud to celebrate them.
This was done during a writing workshop. Thank you to the fellow writer for the inspiration!