Found this article, When does preference become prejudice?, on my Twitter feed. Curious what the person had to say, so I read it. And I walked away quite pissed off.
Quote from Article: “I think it’s immature and even ignorant to say that you’d “never” do this or that because who knows? And when applied to race, dating and sex, what I think it really means is that someone is saying that they find a whole race of people so unattractive that there isn’t even the slightest possibility, not even in the future, that you’d find anything sexual about any of them based on their looks alone, regardless of who they are as a person. Not only is that highly insulting but it is a prejudice. It’s not a preference, no matter how you slice it.”
I sort of got what he’s saying, but at the same time… He did an excellent job writing off asexual people, sex repulsed people, sex averse people, and aromantic people (I know sex repulsed/averse usually is specific towards asexual people, but I don’t doubt there are allosexual people are repulsed by sex. Don’t believe me, talk to ultra conservative people sometime).
But I won’t write them off because A) I’m one of them and B) This whole preference = prejudice debate is REALLY starting to piss me off, and C) They shouldn’t be excluded.
I’m aromantic, asexual, romantic/sex repulsed, and romantic/sex averse. Am I immature because I am 100% positive I will never try to be otherwise again, and refuses to date people, and have sex, anyway? Am I prejudice because my orientation rules every single people group within the human race? No Caucasians, blacks, whites, Asians, middle eastern, blues, purples, pokadots, no one?
I know what some people reading this are thinking: He was only talking about allosexual people. He could be, but if that’s true why didn’t he specify? He didn’t address it to allosexuals, he addressed it to “You”, aka anyone who becomes curious about the article and reads it. That “You” includes me, and I am REALLY tired of being swept into the prejudice category by the romantic/sexual dating police because of how my orientation is mapped. And I’m sure I’m not the only person who falls under the asexual umbrella, or the other categories I listed, who feels this way.
This is not an isolated example: If it’s not transphobia because I refuse to be with a transgender person, it’s being accused of being sexist because I see good and evil in masculine and feminine, and now I’m racist because I would never sleep with any people group. Are exclusively gay men sexist because they won’t date women? What about lesbian women who say they’ll never try being with a man? What people who want romance and sex to result in reproduction, and decide it makes more sense to do so with cisgender people of the other sex?
Sorry, dude, but trying to avoid any form of prejudice ISN’T the magical potion that’ll miraculously turn me into an allosexual, alloromantic, sex/romance positive person. I don’t care if the person is male, female, binary, or genderless; gay, straight, bi, or pan; European, African, Asian, North American, Caribbean; likes any of my personal interests; or chooses to make advances to me anyway. I don’t care if the person is male, female, binary, or genderless; gay, straight, bi, or pan; European, African, Asian, North American, Caribbean; likes any of my personal interests; or chooses to make advances to me anyway. I don’t care if the person is male, female, non-binary, or genderless; gay, straight, bi, or pan; European, African, Asian, North American, Caribbean; likes any of my personal interests; or chooses to make advances to me anyway. To make the comparison: Fitting in and not facing homophobia didn’t miraculously make you heterosexual. Some of my good friends didn’t stop being transgender the moment they realized the hardships they’d face for it.
And if my orientation is a good enough reason for some people to accuse me of racism, homophobia, transphobia, sexism, etc… then quite frankly the problem is with them. The problem is with the author of this piece. Furthermore, since they like throwing around labels at people, I’ll give them one: Acephobia, aka prejudice against asexual people, is real. You’re being an example of it.